If you have difficulty saying “no” to people then you’re not alone. Many people have difficulty saying this two letter word and find themselves in the uncomfortable position of saying yes when it’s quite the opposite of what they want. If you’re a internet bingo player who struggles to say no then you could find yourself in a tricky situation if you are confronted by one of those rare but annoying bingo players who pretends to be your bingo buddy, but is really waiting to see if you’re going to be the person they can run to for loans when they run out of money.
These types of people are born manipulators who are only too aware of how many people are “approval junkies” who constantly seek approval and as a result rarely say no. They lurk in a bingo chat room and watch the bingo players, sizing up the bingo personalities. Then they prey on those bingo players who are predisposed towards pleasing people. And if you think saying “yes” once will get rid of the problem, then think again. Once you’ve given in, these bingo bullies realize that you are a soft target and they’ll be back to try and manipulate you in any way they can.
Reasons we don’t like to say “no” are varied. They range from not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings to not wanting to appear aggressive. In the bingo chat room, you might be afraid of earning a reputation of being mean-spirited, so if you are approached by someone asking for a loan you might just say “yes” because you feel trapped and put on the spot.
What makes these situations more difficult is that often, these bingo bullies have already executed the classic buttering-up moves in the bingo chat room. These tactics could include offering you some of their free points when they do have them, so that they can call in favours when they run out of bingo funds. Even if you’ve refused their bingo points offer, they know that you’ll feel mean spirited if, when they ask for a loan, you bluntly say no. Unfortunately, things can get confusing, because there are those bingo players who do love to share their winnings just because they are genuinely giving souls who expect nothing in return but the sheer pleasure of giving. They genuinely want other to share in their bingo luck. But you can be sure the genuine giver will never be calling you into a private bingo chat to ask for a loan.
The question still remains, what do you do when someone asks for a bingo loan? How do you let them down firmly but gently? The key is to learning how to say no without appearing aggressive or dismissive. Tell your bingo friend that as a rule you don’t lend anyone money because you’re on a tight budget yourself. Make it clear that your policy is not to lend to anyone at all, that way you’re making it clear that you’re not singling out or rejecting your bingo buddy (if he really is your buddy). If your friend is mortally offended, then frankly, you don’t need him or her as a friend. Another important thing to remember when saying no to the bingo bully in this situation, is to be very firm that this is a final answer. You can offer an explanation only if you want to, but remember that you’re entitled to say no. You spent your hard-earned money playing bingo and you should not feel obliged to part with it. If you’re finding it difficult explaining, simply say that your husband/ wife plays bingo with you and that they don’t approve of lending money. Remember, the bingo bully is not standing in your flat, they’re in a virtual chat room and if they’re upset, then it’s just too bad.
Fortunately incidents described above are rare indeed. And if anyone bugs you too much in the bingo chat room, then just ignore their chat with the click of a bingo button or report them to the bingo chat master. That will surely settle things once and for all.
